Staying Accountable as an Imperfect Parent

Parenting is a continuous learning experience, filled with moments of joy, challenges, and growth. As parents, we strive to set the best example for our kids, but we are also human and imperfect. One of the most profound lessons we can teach our children is the power of a sincere apology and rebuilding after a mistake. Apologising to your kids not only models humility and accountability but also strengthens the bond of trust and respect.

However, sometimes we don't know when our kids are upset with us or if our “sorry” in the moment fell short. So, about twice a month I have instituted a new ritual on the way to school to check in with my kids. I call it, car repairs. I took the concept of already being in the car and the idea of repair and put them together. This allowed me to ritualise it and make it more accessible.

How car repairs went down for us:

The first time I did it, I said to them, “We're going to do car repairs. Is there anything I have done or said lately that you feel like you want me to acknowledge and or apologise for?” You would think that I needed to explain what car repairs meant or say anything further but I didn't. One of my children had no problem jumping right in and telling me something I felt like I had already done an amazing repair on. She drove that metaphoric car right back to the mechanic and wanted more. In this case, I said to her, “So even though I've already apologised there's something about it that's still upsetting you and you would like more acknowledgment.” And she said, “It was upsetting and I wasn't ready for your sorry.” Don't you love it when your kids say something that impacts you? Sometimes I'm not ready for people’s sorries either.

When I do car repairs, it is a powerful act of humility and love. It teaches them that making mistakes is a part of life, but what truly matters is how we respond to those mistakes and rebuild. It teaches me accountability and that the repair process is a journey, not a destination.